August 2019 - August 2021
3 Amazing Years of Lessons Learned, and Cakes Made
I began Calculated Whisks Bakery with a vision. It would be revolutionary in my small town; I would make organic desserts for the common consumer. I would make guilt-free birthday cakes, beautifully decorated pies, new-to-Tuolumne macarons, and gourmet cookies.
Well, some of that DID go to plan, but not perfectly.
Along the road, I was told countless times by countless near-customers, "I don't care about organic. This is too expensive," and after a year and a half of that, in order to afford staying in business, and in order to to accept the only existing incoming orders for fondant, food dye, and the like, I lost my vision.
I began baking just to keep a roof over my family's head, rather than holding onto my integrity and sticking to my vision. I went on to create fabulously beautiful things. I'm sure I brought many an event to life with my colorful, tasty sweets. But the more I put my heart into creating these things I wasn't necessarily passionate about, the less my heart felt full.
To quote a very worldly Hobbit, I felt, "thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread,"
I spent my time sort of on autopilot, in a limbo, just creating and baking and selling and surviving. It worked, until it didn't.
Last year, during my pregnancy with my youngest son, I spent most nights sleepless, up until the early hours of the morning, frosting cake after cake, icing sugar cookie after sugar cookie. I can't lie, a lot of those nights were spent crying, dealing with HG (Hyperemesis Gravidarum), and later in the pregnancy, Preeclampsia. I worked like a Clydesdale through it all, and it actually very nearly killed me. (I even fainted and fell once on my way home after a long day in the commercial kitchen I shared at the time, dealt with a long hospital stay, and upon giving birth, very nearly bled out and was put on an anti-seizure I.V. medication.).
I don't tell you this for pity, trust me, I am much stronger, and much to proud, than to seek pity from people. I include this lengthy explanation because I feel it is necessary for you to understand the evolution that led me to my decision to switch gears with my business. After a deep depression and a feeling of unhappiness that just would not go away, I was forced to reevaluate my life from the ground up. I was forced to admit to myself that I did not like the career I had built around myself. I was living someone else's version of a bakery life, and had lost myself completely.
It took all of these things for me to realize how truly unhappy I was with my day-to-day, despite my business's apparent "success."
So, on this page, I have chosen to memorialize what was, so that I can move forward with MY business, and do what brings ME joy.
Does this mean I will never make a cake again?
No. It just means that, for the time being, I won't be taking orders for cakes, cupcakes, macarons, or sugar cookies.
It also means that all of my ingredients are shifting back to being organic, and/or LOCALLY sourced, as they originally were.
Prices will reflect this change.
So what will I be making?
Gourmet Loaded Cookies.
These items will be organic, with natural food colorants such as beet powder, turmeric, and the like. If you would like to request food-dye, you may until i run out of my existing stock.
Thank you all for your continued support over these last three years.